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Chances are that you will be involved in negotiating an agreement with someone in the near future. The form these negotiations may take are many and varied but all have the same common elements, that people are involved.  Many people have trouble dealing with other people when the subject matter is as personal as it is in a negotiation, some get angry, others cave in and many want to win at all costs.  Not only will this not help you get what you want, but you may be much worse off after the negotiation than before.

This guide will guide you through what your style is, how to appreciate what the other people want from negotiations and how to make the outcome come out in your favor.

 

 

 

Some may be called to negotiate with:

• Over a legal dispute
• When dealing with members of the public
• With your neighbors
• When there are differences of opinion at work with colleagues.
• With the government
• With your friends, or ex-friends
• When purchasing something you want cheaper
• When trying to resolve a dispute
• With your partner / family
• With your employer

 As you can see, negotiating is not necessarily formal and is often with people that you know.  Interpersonal relationships play a strong part in negotiations, understanding how you interact is your key to getting the most out of negotiations.

Your success in negotiating often will depend upon the response of the person / people you are interacting with.  You might find it necessary to develop a mix of negotiation styles for interacting with different people.  Note that adopting this negotiation approach will give you a set of boundaries that you can measure your performance against; irrespective of your experience.  This approach is very effective as it lets you deal with pressure, tactics and people more experienced than you in an easy to follow way.

How do you Deal with Conflict?

There has been much analysis done on how people react when dealing with conflict and negotiations. Next time you are interacting with people, note which way you deal with conflict and how they do:

 

1. Avoidance
2. Relying on others to give their point of view (a third party, friends or colleagues)
3. Being Open and Honest
4. Demand Adjudication By a third party with authority (Lawyers, Judges, Employers)
5. Lump it!
6. Bring in a Professional to Negotiate
7. Use Physical Violence
8. Ask for adjudication by an informal umpire
9. Demand that they will win at all costs

How do you Deal with Conflict?

 

Now you understand the behavior that people can display, it is important to understanding why conflict exists.  If there was no conflict there would be no need for negotiation.  Meaning that you would not need to bargain if the people you were dealing with fully agree with you. I read a book called The Mediation Process, by Christopher Moore - where he categorizes the following types of conflicts that can possibly exist.

1. Interest Conflicts - people want different things from the same thing being negotiated for
2. Relationship Conflicts - the interaction between the parties is as important as what is being negotiated about
3. Structural Conflicts - where parties have different ways of achieving the same goal
4. Value Conflicts - different parties ascribe a different value to what is being negotiated about - ie
5. Data Conflicts - there are two different sides to what is the "truth"

What Skills can you use to Negotiate?

 

It is important to look at how people are reacting, and what the conflict is about to work out how to resolve the issue in your favor.  The skill is to be able to make your position sound like the best alternate possible to resolve the conflict, keeping the other party as happy as possible while conceding as little as possible that is valuable to you.

There different "universal" ways of approaching negotiations that have been proposed.  The one I like the best is below:

• People: Separate the people from the problem.
• Interests: Focus on interests, not positions.
• Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do.
• Criteria: Insist that the result be based on some objective standard.

Which is put forward by Fisher and Ury in their book Getting to Yes.

 

Evaluate Your Own Position

 

Knowing what is in your best interests is important so you do not concede what you really wanted to keep.  Also knowing what you do not value and may be bargained away is important.  Fisher and Ury suggest that you look for your WATNA and BATNA.  Being:

Best Alternative To Negotiated Agreement

Worst Alternative To Negotiated Agreement

 

The idea behind this is that you work out what the worst thing that can happen to you if you walk away from the negotiation.  And also work out what the best thing that you could get if you decide not to come to an agreement.  This thinking means that any proposal that you are given needs to be worked out to see if it exceeds or meets your BATNA and WATNA, if you can get a better result elsewhere then you probably should not settle, similarly if you have an offer that is much better than your other possible alternatives you should consider taking the offer.

I also suggest that you look at your best case scenario and worst case scenarios.  Meaning that you ask yourself:

• What is it that you really want from the negotiation?
• What things are not that important that you can bargain?
• What outcomes would you not be prepared to accept?
• Why do you feel so strongly about these items?

 

Another important thing to do is to try to look at the situation as if you were in another’s shoes.  Asking questions like, but not limited to:

• If I were an impartial observer (like a priest) what would I think the best outcome for both parties would be?
• If I were a lawyer how would I decide the matter?
• Would an accountant look at these facts differently?
• How would my mother look at what is going on?
• If I could re-think my actions, would I have done anything differently?
• Why does the person I am negotiating with come up with that conclusion?

Planning Your Negotiation

You should now be armed with enough tools to know exactly what you want, what your opponent will want, how you may react to the conflict and how your opponent will.  You should be able to identify what you are prepared to concede and what your best and worst case scenarios are.

Using these tools create a plan (either in your head, or written down if you are nervous or it is very important to you) This preparation and planning is essential to obtaining what you want from the negotiation.  The worst thing that you can do is enter unprepared as you may walk out agreeing to something you shouldnt have, or accepting a deal that is not in your best interests or walking away from what is probably the best outcome that could have happened.  This requires you to look at the dispute from both sides and consider the following:

• What personal and emotional conflicts may arise?
• Why does the person you are negotiating with feel the way that they do?
• What exactly is your opponent looking for from the negotiation?
• What interests underlie their positions?
• Is there anything that you can both agree upon initially that will benefit both of you?
• Is there any methods that you can do that will ensure that both sides can reach an agreement on facts or issues in question?
• What are both sides BATNA and WATNA?
• What is your worst case scenario?
• What is your best case scenario?
• Why have you adopted those ideas?

 

There is no correct plan as it all depends on what you bring to the table.  What you want and what is on offer will change and you need to be prepared to change with it.  In future posts I will cover specific ways that you can interact with others, and tactics that you can employ - but the more you plan the more you are likley to succeed.

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